By Julie Reed
“THIS is the day that the Lord has made; I will rejoice and be glad in it.”
Psalm 118:24
It’s going to be one of THOSE weeks. I can tell already. I feel my bones growing weary. I can hear myself losing patience with my children and screaming at the dogs. I can tell that I’ll already need to offer up forgiveness for my words and actions. I can feel my blood pressure rising as I look at the first week of May. It’s only May 1st as I write this article and I’m dreading May 5th. I have flipped over my calendar for a new month and I’m in shock at the amount of appointments, events, and commitments already penciled in many of the blocks.
I’m a type A personality. That means that I like things organized. I like to plan and have everything fall into place just so. Things need to be perfect. I’m worried about everyone else’s needs and desires above my own. I want to please everyone and everything I come in contact with. This fact alone wears me out. But, when you add in the realization that I don’t have my helpmate, my other half, my best buddy to come along side me and rally for me, encourage me and offer advice, help, or hugs at just the right time, it makes me even more weary. I’m ready to wave my white flag and I’m not even half way through today.
Why am I dreading May 5th you wonder? Simple. There are two reasons actually. The first is that it will be the twenty month anniversary of daddy and grandpa’s passing. I can hardly believe that we are creeping ever so quickly to the two year mark. Two Years. Two years. How can that be?
The second reason is that I’ll be registering our youngest for Kindergarten that same day. Sniff, sniff. I’ll be the one taking her to the elementary school. I’ll be the one filling out the forms and taking in the necessary paperwork. I’ll be the one encouraging her on as she takes those tiny feet into the great big new world of elementary school. I’ll be the one holding her hand ever so tightly whispering over and over again to myself, ‘It’s okay. She’s ready. You can let go. You can let go.’
As I sat in church this morning, holding her in my arms and running my fingers through her hair, I was swept away by the words of a very familiar song titled This Is the Day.
THIS is the Day. Today. This moment, this period of time will never happen again. I can’t get it back. I can’t change it. I can’t have a do-over. THIS is the Day. All of our tomorrows only come one day at a time. How can a dread a whole week, when I haven’t even finished today? Why am I wasting today worrying about something that is four whole days away?
Because I’m human. Because I’m not fully trusting God. Because I needed Him to remind me today that THIS is the day that He has made just for me. I needed Him to remind me that even though I feel like crying and remaining in the fetal position begging for mercy, that I should be rejoicing and glad for TODAY.
So, I’ll dust off my knees, get off of my pity soap box, and go outside and enjoy THIS beautiful day. I’ll enjoy the blooms of color and fragrance God placed on my rose bushes for THIS day. I’ll stand in the warm sunshine with the cool breeze on my face and smile at God for showering me with His love THIS day. I’ll run through the grass barefoot with my children, giggling and laughing at the dogs and ourselves as we tumble to the ground in a tickle fight. I’ll enjoy THIS day. I’ll rejoice and be glad in THIS day. But more importantly I’ll do the same on May 5th knowing THAT day will be just as fantastic as THIS day because the same, timeless God will have given me both.
I’m ready for one of THOSE weeks. A week filled with rejoicing, praise and thanksgiving for each day in that week. Here’s to hoping you’ll enjoy THIS day, THIS week, no matter what your calendar says you need to do. A timeless God gives us moments, each moment is precious. THIS is the day that the Lord has made…will you rejoice and be glad in it with me?
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Just stumbled on your post. It is night time but I at this moment I so needed to read your words. Had a really rough evening. But I am glad my God refreshes us when we need refreshing. Thanking God for you.
Yay Julie! Beautifully put. Life is coming at my little family hard right now, This (sorta) controlling mama so needed to hear this today! Reminds me of my post back in October, ‘I’m Still Here’, and a desperately needed shift in perspective on Dave’s anniversary day. Sometimes, we just need to take a breath, choose all over again to believe He’s got it under control, and LIVE. I will be thinking of you on May 5 as you squeeze your precious almost kindergartner while the world celebrates Cinco deMayo with Margaritas. Thanks for your timely words. Hugs ~ Danita
Wow…I do read all of the articles that you all send out. This one really made a lot of sense to me today. I feel like I have been in a long dark tunnel without any inclination of how far and long I will have to crawl to see the daylight. Last night, I looked at a portrait of Jesus that I have in my bedroom because Kevin, my husband who died about 7 weeks ago, loved it. It is of Jesus Laughing. As I looked at it, I first wondered what Kevin thought and said when he met that joyous and triumphant man. I longed to be there to see it….. Then, I realized that Jesus carried the weight of the world, all the sin, betrayal and loss. He knows our struggle YET He loved and laughed. That meant something to me last night…it helped me sleep.
But then I woke up in the same dark tunnel. I failed to get the message. Your article brought me back to that feeling of comfort that our Lord offers. We will walk with me TODAY…TOMORROW and everyday. So, instead of thinking about how long my tunnel is, perhaps I should focus on where I am in it TODAY and search for the glimmers of hope coming thru the cracks in the tunnel walls.
THANK YOU.
Sincerely,
Katie Oldham
Wow…I do read all of the articles that you all send out. This one really made a lot of sense to me today. I feel like I have been in a long dark tunnel without any inclination of how far and long I will have to crawl to see the daylight. Last night, I looked at a portrait of Jesus that I have in my bedroom because Kevin, my husband who died about 7 weeks ago, loved it. It is of Jesus Laughing. As I looked at it, I first wondered what Kevin thought and said when he met that joyous and triumphant man. I longed to be there to see it….. Then, I realized that Jesus carried the weight of the world, all the sin, betrayal and loss. He knows our struggle YET He loved and laughed. That meant something to me last night…it helped me sleep.
But then I woke up in the same dark tunnel. I failed to get the message. Your article brought me back to that feeling of comfort that our Lord offers. We will walk with me TODAY…TOMORROW and everyday. So, instead of thinking about how long my tunnel is, perhaps I should focus on where I am in it TODAY and search for the glimmers of hope coming thru the cracks in the tunnel walls.
THANK YOU.
Sincerely,
Katie Oldham
May the Lord lift you and comfort you and carry you today, Julie.
How Awesome our God is!!! I am coming up on the one year anniversary of John’s death and every since May came in I have been dreading and trying to prepare myself for this day. Knowing one thing for sure in this grief process, there is no preparing yourself for what you may feel. But this article reminds me that Today is where I am and I should rejoice and be glad in it. When May 28th comes, Lord willing, I can rejoice and be glad in it as well. Whatever I feel or think on that day, it is a day that the Lord will have made.