by Leah Gillen
As I read her email, I honestly thought it was some sort of spam message sent under my friend’s name. Certainly this couldn’t be real. I re-read it. The words simply stunned me. She simply said, “I really, really need you to pray for me. My husband died yesterday.”
Before going any further, I need to give you a little background here. I “met” my friend Robin via Facebook last year when she read a post from a mutual friend about my “missing” husband who was later discoveredin the arms of Jesus. Robin has been caring for me over the last 13 months through cards, a Christmas ornament, and most especially TONS of prayer! While we never officially met, we got to “know” each other first through Facebook and then through my grief journey I subsequently blogged about.
A few weeks ago, her physically and mentally handicapped 29-year-old son entered the hospital a very sick young man. He has cerebral palsy and had developed a pretty severe case of pneumonia. Robin had been faithful to keep a group of us up-to-date on her son and how we could pray for him. So, when I got that message a little over a week ago, I – at first – thought it would be an update on Matthew. Instead, the shocking words informed me that Robin had just said goodbye to her precious Larry. I cried…for her. I remember – all too well – the pain of those initial days of grief following the death of a spouse.
On May 4, 2011, I had no idea the journey I was about to embark upon, but I was blessed with love from other widows from all over the world that I had never met. They heard “my story”, and they flooded me with comfort. I never dreamed that one day I’d be in a position to offer comfort back to another, but God has brought me to that very place. I have come full circle. While on Grief Road, I have encountered many other widows. I have heard countless stories – many similar to my own. Many were widowed before me. Some were directed to my website following their own encounter with widowhood. However, Robin is the only one (to my knowledge) that has walked Grief Road alongside me from my first day and is now experiencing much of the same pain having just joined our beloved sisterhood of widows. Robin has watched my walk down this path and has now stepped on the path with me. I prayed,
Lord, please let me live out 2 Corinthians 1 with Robin. Please help me to comfort her with the comfort I’ve received from You and from those You’ve sent to me. Please send her an entourage of people to support her during this difficult first year, especially.
I feel so inadequate, at times, but it’s not about my abilities. God doesn’t call the equipped; He equips the called! I went to visit Robin, the day after her husband’s memorial service. I visited with her and her precious Matthew in the hospital (so much for one woman to have to endure right now). We hugged…we talked…we prayed. And, Robin shared this with me… “When I first heard that your husband was missing through (our mutual friend) and then later learned that he had been found in the arms of Jesus, my heart broke for you. I have been drawn to pray for you in ways that I really didn’t understand. I never knew you, but the Lord kept drawing me to you. Now…I know. He was preparing me for the widow’s journey too. He knew that I would need you.” WOW! As tears filled my eyes, I silently praised God.
Thank you, Father, for not letting Chris’ suicide be in vain. Thank you for bringing beauty from ashes. Thank you for bringing me full circle!
My sweet sisters…you never know the fruit that God will bring from your tragedy. But, it’s ALL for His Glory! May each of us strive to walk out our difficult days with our eyes toward Heaven and our hearts toward those grieving around us. May we be more sensitive to the pain of others. May we be “Jesus with skin on” to those He places in our circles of influence.
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. (2 Corinthians 1:3-5)
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
Beautiful! I too, will be praying for your friend! My heart aches for her, because the pain of losing your spouse is a pain you wouldn’t want anyone to feel! Praying for her son’s healing as well!
Yvette – Thank you for your sweet words and thank you especially for praying for Robin and Matthew!
Leah – Thank you for sharing Robin’s story. I will keep her in my heart as I’ve kept you also. Though this journey of grief is one that many can empathize with, I believe those of us on this road truly understand the pain and healing that is taking place in each one of us. And we hold fast to the promise that we’re walking each step with Jesus.
Brenda – Thank you sweet lady! You are correct indeed – we know the pain so much more intimately than those not having traveled this road. Clinging to His promises!
♥ I’ve been praying for you, and Robin all week . . . thanks for sharing – your story and her story. It’s a good reminder for me TODAY (7 months), God can use our tragedy for HIS glory – what a great promise! ♥
Sheila – Thank you for your faithfulness to pray! It is THE key throughout this journey, I firmly believe. I love watching God be glorified through your story as well sweet sister!
I started reading this blog a few months ago and can tell you that it has helped me tremendously. I’ve been walking this path for the last 20 months. As I was reading about Robin’s story today my heart ached for her because no one knows the pain she is feeling unless you have been there. My prayers are with Robin and Matthew and all widows out there. May God continue to hold each and every one of us in the palm of his hand.
Becky – Thank you for the prayers for Robin and Matthew! What a journey they are just beginning, but I know you (and the rest of us widows) understand that pain in ways that others can’t. May God bless you abundantly on your own Grief Road.
Leah- I can give a wholehearted ‘amen’ to this post. In fact , the verse in 2Cor. has been one of my ‘go to’ verses since losing Dave. God WILL use all of our stories for His glory. Nothing is wasted. And the ability to look into someones tear-filled eyes and say ‘I get it’ is priceless. Thanks for such a beautiful description of the journey, for both you and Robin.
Danita – Thank you sweet friend! You were one of the VERY people God sent to comfort me last July when we I first met you. It was such a comfort then to connect with a precious gem that had traversed this road for many years already with such grace and beauty!
your story is so true to my HEART, prayer and the love of my best friend who has been there for me since April, 2010 when my husband moved to heaven.. Her payers and friendship is more than anyone can explain. my thanks to her. God is before me, behind me, beside me and always with me. Now, I continue to do the work of the talent that God gave to me. The Circle of Prayer, serve and give. I pray to be one the women of Proverbs 31.. Keep prayiing for your friend is a blessing to all. I have entered you and your friend and her son in my circle of prayer. GOD BLESS YOU. . LOVE to you. julie
Julie – Thank you so much for taking the time to comment and for your kind words. I’m so thankful that your best friend has showered you with love and comfort these last 2+ years. What a blessing from God! I know that He will continue to bless and comfort you, so that you can – in turn – be a blessing and comfort to those He sends you! God bless you sweet lady!
Oh My Dear Precious Ladies,
As I read the story of this woman I was angry at God all over again.
How does a loving God allow one of His children to endure such tragedy? I get what He endured for us to give us eternal life, so that this miserable world wouldn’t be all there is. So how does just having Him be in the tragedy with you lead you to care that it will be used for His glory? I certainly don’t want Bob’s death to go in vain but I am not at a place yet where God using it for His glory is of any comfort to me.
So I just wondered how it is that you all got to that place?
Sorry I don’t mean to make it be “all about me” after such a painful story of this woman’s journey. Thanks for letting me vent!
Your story is so true, most people in my life now have moved on. I understand people get on with their own lives but I still feel so alone my husband Dusty passed Feb,2011. I have my children but they are grown the youngest just turned 21 and they are dealing with their Dad’s death and also trying to find their place with a Mom who is without their Dad. But God is good, all the time and I know in His time He will bring the right people into my life. Thanks for sharing your stories.
Kelly