Thank you for inviting us into your home and allowing us to share our hearts as we walk this journey together.
Our regular bloggers
Kids: Christian (preteen), Carter (teen),
Brian (teen), Joe (teen),
Carla (young adult), and Mike (adult)
Occupation: Management Consultant turned Homeschool Mom and WriterPersonal Blog: www.fourlittletomsandamom.blogspot.com
Some of her posts here. A Widow’s Might: Kit
Does anyone else have a chocolate lab that eats little boy underwear? Living with four growing boys keeps me busy! Between keeping the mud out of the house and keeping up with their music, sports, mission work, computer geek stuff, and adolescence, I never find a dull moment. I have a stubborn desire to keep up with these guys! It puts me in crazy situations, like learning first hand what Over-the-Bar means to a mountain biker!
Don’t let my light side fool you. I take my husband’s legacy seriously. He was an amazing father and husband, and the boys and I will me marked forever by his love. The boldness you read in my posts reflects that mark. We live our lives flat out for God because of the Christ-like love he modeled for us while we had him!
Now that they are teens, life’s getting a bit easier, and I use breaks in the schedule to unwind. That means time in prayer, coffee with friends, working out, and hiking. I especially love to write. Lord knows I’ve got enough experiences to write about — engineering and graduate school, the corporate world, step-parenting, homeschooling, widowhood, and single-parenting. Between life’s joyful and difficult circumstances, I’ve lived many of the challenges women in this century face. Writing is a great way to unearth unique truths that make experiences worth living and sharing with others who are walking in some of the places I have already been.
Weekly outdoors writer for the Times Record News in Wichita Falls, Texas, and freelance writer
Personal blog: unimaginedjourney.blogspot.com
“I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!” Lamentations 3: 20-24(NLT)
I’ve asked God to “fill in the cracks” of our lives, to stand in the gap where I cannot for my sons. I don’t want them to look back ten years from now and say, “We had a lot of fun before Dad died, but afterwards, we were just sad.” So we live, laugh, cry, and let God carry us when necessary. My outdoorsy husband would want his boys to hunt, fish, and enjoy God’s creation, so we are doing just that.
Trust me, you never know how strong you are until you have to be.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days, when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.” Jeremiah 29:11-13 (NLT)
Widowed: July, 2008Kids: Adam, 43; Dane, 38, grandchildren, Jacob, Matt,
Ardara, Huyler, August.
Occupation: Author, Speaker.
Personal Blog: www.intothemistbook.com/blog
Hello, my name is Kathleen Beard. One day in the fall of 2004, shortly after my husband had a pacemaker surgery, he walked by my chair as I was placing photos into an album and he said “Who is that?” “That” was a good friend of the family. Surprised, I told him her name and he said “Oh.” Later he told me he was making no connection with this person. Now, this was astonishing to me as John had the best memory of anyone I had ever known. He never forgot a name, or a face or a place. Thus began a journey into a misty, shadowy place with a man who had vanished into a room in his mind where I could not follow. Navigating the transition of living with a hilariously funny, wild and crazy husband who adored me, to a humorless, confused and angry stranger over the next four years would test my faith to the nth-degree. Who was this new man? Where was my John? Journaling the journey in detail would prove to be my therapy, as Jesus taught me that you never know that Jesus is all you need until Jesus is all you have. That journaling eventually found its way into a book.
I have taught women’s Bible studies since 1993 as well as speaking at women’s conferences in the U.S. and Honduras. I have been passionately in love with Jesus since 1989, but nothing would prepare me for the four years of my husband’s dementia. However, as is so true of God—He had unbelievable things to teach me of His lengths and widths and heights and depths and this was His means of expanding my horizons into a deeper walk with Him. As it turned out, He also had things to teach John, even in his dementia, for I would learn that the “spirit” does not get dementia. John’s relationship with Jesus was deeper and more precious in his last four years than at any time before. It was the only thing that was real to him and that he fully understood.
It is my joy and my passion to speak these truths into the lives of others who are navigating the hard path of life as Jesus takes the “living water” that he poured into me, and pours it into others. And the best part is He gets all the glory!
Widowed: September 1, 2008 No children
Occupation: Caregiver to my 85 year old mom, Adult Bible Teacher, Speaker and writer/blog.
Personal Blog: http://fixyourthoughtsonjesus.blogspot.com
“There is a time for everything…”(Ecclesiastes 3:1).
The wisdom of King Solomon’s words rang true as my husband Brad and I left Florida to move to Virginia where my husband had accepted a full time Worship Minister position in Virginia Beach. We both were excited about what God was doing in our lives and we anxiously awaited to see what God had in store for us. We were ready for anything …or so we thought.
Six short months later we learned that Brad had stage 4 lymphoma. Over the next five years of Brad’s life, we experienced God’s love and faithfulness in many amazing ways. We leaned on His strength and held onto His promises. God’s love even broke through my heartfelt pleas and prayers for Him to “see things” as I did.
It’s been nearly 5 years since Brad died and I miss him to this very day! I’ve learned over time that it’s “ok” to still love my husband…but I can’t follow God’s plans for my life if I don’t let go of the future plans I made that included Brad in them.
Life is full of tough stuff! If I could avoid each trial and heartache this life brings and still grow in faith, trust and love for Jesus…I would sign up to do it that way! However, the Lord has taught me through my most devastating circumstances, His love for me is greater than my greatest sorrow.
The wisdom of King Solomon still rings true in my heart today…“There’s a time for everything…” I had no idea while journaling and writing updates on how Brad and I were doing, that it would lead me to writing an inspirational short story and a devotional blog. Or that my being a widow would open up opportunities for me to speak about the hope we can have in all circumstances because of God’s great love for us. For His glory alone!
“And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love” .~ Romans 5:5
Kids: Andrea (adult) Kurt (adult) 4 Grandkids (3 school aged – 1 teen)
Occupation: Retired – Former “partner” with my husband in Website Design and Marketing
My “change of plans” began at 8:00 am January 2, 2012. My husband and I had just spent “quality” time together during the Holidays and also had celebrated our 48th wedding anniversary on December 29th. We woke at 1:00 am and talked a little and all seemed very normal. By 8:00 am when I awoke again, he wasn’t awake. I tapped his leg and asked him to move over but got no response. I tried again and then began calling his name. Panic was beginning to set in as I knew something had to be wrong! I finally took hold of his hand to shake it and knew he was gone!! What a shock as we had no idea that there was anything wrong. I can still remember standing there in disbelief and wondering “what will I do now”???? I was sure I could not survive on my own! Because of some health issues that I have, I do not drive any longer and depended totally on my husband. There was no way for me to stay alone or continue our business by myself and we were not prepared for anything like this. There certainly did not seem to be much hope for my future.
“For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. You will find me when you seek me, if you look for me in earnest.” Jeremiah 29:11-13 (from the Living Bible)
Even though this “hole in my heart” doesn’t seem to go away, I know it will get better and I am thankful that the Lord has been with me each step of the way. He does give me a reason to believe that there is hope and a future – just different than what I had planned!
When I received the request to write a guest post for A Widow’s Might I read and re-read and read it once again. Then I promptly closed the email and said to myself “I can’t do that!”. But we know God had other plans!
As I say in my blog profile, I have held many titles throughout my life, daughter, sister, wife, mother and now widow. That is the title I received on that day in May 2011. As I have told many people I was prepared for my beloved to pass, for it was not sudden. However, I was not at all prepared for life after he passed. We were married for 24 years and he was my constant companion. Embarking into a life without him was strange and painful. However, I took comfort in knowing he was in a place of infinite joy, free of pain and that wheelchair to which he had been confined for seven months.
In the months that followed I discovered that writing in my journal was helping me heal. And, at the suggestion of a very wise friend I started a blog called Sparrow Scrolls. I was a sparrow under the care of a loving God who only wanted the best for me and who held me closely every day, meeting my needs, collecting my tears and binding my wounds.
I have taken great comfort in these last months in the Psalms and in Ecclesiastes 3 – there is a time for everything – a season for it all. Yes, it is a difficult season – most definitely the most difficult season I have ever lived through. But therein lies that key word “through”. Grief must be gone “through”. I am traveling through with God at my side holding me by His strong right hand. And that gives me peace.
Liz Anne Wright
Widowed: November, 2007
Children: Alex, 14; Matthew, 11; Jackson, 8; and Tanner, 6
Occupation: Homeschool Mom, Aspiring Writer
Personal Blog: www.dailyjoyinthejourney.com
Four weeks before the birth of our fourth child, my husband, Keith, had a heart catheterization. He had been ill for a couple months, having fluid in the lungs they could not determine the cause of. After a round of tests and some hospital time, they determined that he had a rare protein disorder that attacked his heart. Our baby, Tanner, was 7 months old when his daddy died.
That day, as 20 of my friends and I stood in a prayer circle at the hospital, God told me in my spirit, “Let them in. They need to grieve, too.” That set the tone for how my boys and I have done this whole thing called grief. And praise God that He gave me that strong push to head in this direction on the path.
The phrase that I said probably 1000 times those first few months was, “God is good, and He is taking care of us.” That was true then, and continued to be true today. The journey is long and hard, but God is always, always there, helping me every step of the way. I have actually come to the point that I can truthfully say that I would not change a thing about my life, even if I could.
I am better for this journey, as hard as it has been. And even though I miss Keith each and every day, I can go on because of the Lord’s great care for me and my boys. I know Him better now than I did then; the rough edges and strongholds of pride and selfishness are being hewn off. My life is rich and full…different than it was before…but full of joy as I continue to homeschool my boys, learn more about my Savior, and help others along the way through our widows/widowers ministry, Travelers on a Different Journey.
God is still God, and He is still…and always will be…good.
Our Veteran Bloggers
Danita HilesDanita Hiles
Widowed in 2004
Kids Kelsey (teen) Audrey (preteen)
Occupation: Freelance Writer, Personality Trainer, Student (working on Masters)
Personal Blog: www.faithfulflipflops.com
Hi there. My name is Danita Hiles and I am a widow. Ugh. Even now, years after the fact I still dislike that word. But the facts remain, and on tax returns and school forms and summer camp applications, that is the box I check. Seven years ago, I was cheerfully checking the ‘box’ marked ‘married’. Then, an early morning phone call left me sitting in an emergency room hearing the impossible words — “we’re sorry, Mrs. Hiles, we did everything we could, but your husband is gone.” My funny, handsome, Navy husband was gone. And with those words, my dreams for our daughters’ future and my hopes for our marriage disappeared. Augggghhhhh!
Where do you turn when your world is destroyed and you just want to scream? The only one I could turn to was Jesus. And He met me. Through the tears and questions and screams and silence, He has held me tight. Now, six years later, I still don’t have an answer to a lot of life’s why’s, but I do know He has been faithful. I live in Tampa, Florida with my two gorgeous girls and look for opportunities to share the amazing way He has brought us through the valley of the shadow. Sometimes the sharing involves a women’s group or Bible study. More often, it is a chance encounter at the grocery store or a conversation during car loop. Usually, both laughter and tears are involved! We all have a story. And I believe part of our story is in using what we have been through to help encourage someone else. After Dave’s death, I wanted so badly to talk to someone who ‘got it’, someone who had walked the lonely path that loomed endlessly before me. I pray this site will be a place to connect, a place where we can laugh and cry together, a safe place to ask questions and get answers.
Psalm 16:5-7 This is my portion and my cup, He will make the boundaries fall for me in pleasant places. I will choose to put the Lord before me, because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.’
Mother to Joshua (teen) and Jessica (school aged)
Preschool Director and teacher at Children’s Enrichment Center
Contributing Writer to Uncommon Life in A Common World www.uclicow.com
1Peter 5:10 — And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.
Mother and step-mother to Amy (young adult), Justin (young adult), Caleb (teen), Anna (teen), and Aaron (teen)
Serves at 106.9 the Light FM radio station, a ministry of the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association
Speaker and blog writer
Personal Blog: www.outofdeepwaters.comI admit it. I was one of those. You know the type? I was one of those people that pictured a widow as being grey-haired, elderly – basically my grandmother. Never in my wildest dreams (or rather nightmares) did I think of myself – at the age of 39 – as a widow. And yet…that’s where I landed.Chris was absolutely the love of my life! He wasn’t perfect, but he was perfect for me! His crystal blue eyes were always so tender and joy-filled, and his laughter…that precious laughter…always made me giggle!So, what in the world cause him to take his own life? Yes. You read that right. My husband committed the “S” word. Suicide. I’m now what they officially dub, a “Survivor of Suicide”.I’ll never fully know the answer to that question this side of Heaven. And…believe me…I’ve tried to find out. But, I do know that he loved me and he even reminded me of that in one of his last notes to me, “Never, ever doubt my love for you.”Chris was a believer. He loved the Lord deeply. I know we will one day be reunited again. Until that time, I have to finish out the days the Lord has given me on this earth.And now…my highest calling is as a remarried wife to my prince and mom/step-mom to five beautiful children/young adults! What a privilege and bountiful blessing!God continues to reach out to me…He continues to rescue me…and He continues to restore me! My prayer is that I simply steward well the story He’s given me.Psalm 18:16 (NLT) ~ He reached down from Heaven and rescued me; he drew me out of deep waters.
Our Guest Bloggers
Widowed 7 Years
Kids Jorjanne (11)
Occupation: Teacher, Speaker, and Author
Personal blog: www.natalieflake.com
I am just your average, down to earth, country gal. I love the great outdoors and I’m happiest when relaxing at the base of a waterfall, overlooking a mountain summit, or chilling at the beach with my favorite girl in the whole world – my daughter, Jorjanne. I have some of the best friends on the planet! No matter what life has thrown at me, my friends have stood beside me, and for that I am forever grateful. I am unashamedly Christian, for I cannot imagine living this life apart from Christ. He is my everything, and I long to glorify him in all I do.
Michael was the love of my life and there was a time when I thought I couldn’t live without him. He was a remarkable husband and a stellar dad! Unfortunately, bipolar disorder stole him from us. When I heard his message telling me goodbye on the answering machine, I thought that I could save him. I was convinced that we could find my husband before he did something drastic to end his depression. Little did I know that God would use Michael’s suicide to drive me to my knees, and lead me into closer intimacy with the Father than I’d ever experienced.
It is my hope and prayer that by sharing our story, others will find the hope. People often ask me if I had known then what I know now, would I have still married Michael. Absolutely! We have some amazing memories and a beautiful daughter, and I wouldn’t do anything to change this. Do I have regrets? You betcha! I share more about this in my book, Tears to Joy.
My past has shaped who I am, but it does not define me. On April 7, 2013, I am marrying my best friend, Jeff. God has truly turned my tears to joy and for that I will forever praise him!
Widowed: 9 Dec 2012
Occupation: Work part-time managing an antique shop and take care of home and gardens.
My husband and I had lived in a little 50’s cottage in Florida since 1973. We started with a simple quarter acre lot and the cottage, and together built and created a workshop, outbuildings and gardens.
I see my husband’s handiwork everywhere and miss him terribly. I miss working together on projects. I miss our daily conversations. I miss his love and encouragement. I miss loving him and doing things for him. Life just isn’t the same. There is a big gaping space where the other half of me used to be. Only Jesus can fill that space now.
Gardening has always soothed me. Yes, it’s hard work, but the rewards are great and I feel closer to Jesus working in His creation.
Many years ago I told my husband I would rather have living flowers than a dying bouquet. The gardens are the result. I’ve grown plants from cuttings, seeds, bought them from garden centers, online, bought them at yard sales and flea markets. I enjoyed the gardening, while my husband did the hardscaping and any work that was too much for me to do myself. I’ve always done the mowing, and most of the pruning, trimming, we would do the harder stuff together.
In this next phase of my earthly journey I am learning to trust Jesus more and more as I go about living day to day, alone, yet not alone. Daily I am growing closer to Him. He is with me every step of the way.
Before my husband went home to be with Jesus he told me he would be waiting for me on the rainbow bridge and oh how I look forward to that reunion, where we will live with Jesus our great God, Saviour, Friend, forever and ever.
Romans 8:28 ~ And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
Widowed 2011/Remarried 2012
Children/Step Children: Nickolas (adult), Rick (adult), Ashley (adult), Deitrich (young adult), Tessa (young adult), Bryce (teen) Taya (teen) and Kajsa (teen)
Occupation: Wife, Mom, Hospital Registrar
Personal Blog: ourjourneytoanewnormal.blogspot.com
“I long to make your life a glorious adventure” ~ Jesus Calling
Before becoming a widow, life seemed to be a glorious adventure marred by little tragedy. But just months away from our 20th anniversary and ten days from hunting season, his FAVORITE time of the year, Rickey fell off a roof while working and was gone from us in the blink of an eye. While he woke in paradise, our world was touched by a tragedy greater than we could imagine. But even this God allowed, so I determined to trust that life was still an adventure, though nothing about it during those first months seemed glorious.
I’ve always felt a pull to write or share, but wondered what kind of story an average Christian wife and mom had to tell. After experiencing the death of my husband, my mom said to me, “Now, you have a story to tell.”
Soon, I began blogging my feelings as I traveled along this journey called widowhood. Though not a journey I would have embarked on voluntarily, God has shown Himself to be more than enough for me.
I’m thankful that through my grief, God has allowed me to offer hope and support to other widows – each of our stories unique, but oh so similar as well. I love being able “meet” in this way and encourage each other!
I have learned that people will fail me, circumstances disappoint and my heart will feel as if will never mend, but God won’t fail, won’t disappoint, and will mend broken hearts. He has proven His faithfulness to me daily! I now look forward to each day on this journey as it has again become a glorious adventure!
Psalm 139:16 “…in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.”
Widowed May 2010
Children Hannah, college student, Noelle, teen and Jadi, soon to be teen
Our lives forever changed when my dear David died as a result of a motorcycle accident. I have homeschooled our three girls since 2004. I am very passionate about being the torch bearer for our family’s legacy and for finishing what David and I started. God never ran faster to me than on that day in May. I have learned that He alone is what I need. I find great comfort in studying God’s word. I am a word nut. Give me a word study to chew on and I am overjoyed. I enjoy learning about ancient Jewish history, writing and I journal almost daily. God’s creation blows me away and always inspires me in my writing. I have learned so much about Him by watching His world around me. I love summer and my beach time. I love walks on the beach and spending hours in the water. I call our beach spot my sanctuary. As soon as the weather breaks I am usually walking the shoreline, looking for beach glass or rocks and anticipating the first swim. I have taught Sunday school to ages 5-20 at different times, led a bible study for teens called 3D nights. (Dig in the word, Discuss the word and Dine on goodies), was an event coordinator for a local youth group. God is making my heart tender towards certain causes as of late and I am just waiting and praying to see where he takes me with these inklings. What I want most in this world is to have a heart that honors HIM and words and actions that point to HIM.