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There is a measure of what we learn in life that can only come from hindsight.
This is especially true when traveling the path of grieving the loss of a spouse. The emotions are often raw, real and overwhelming. It can be difficult to learn and understand God’s intended plans and purposes in the midst of a trial.
We KNOW that Romans 8:28 says “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose” (NASB). But if we are honest, we might all admit that is it often difficult to see or believe the reality of this promise.
What is TRUE and what is FELT are often at odds with one another.
Sadly, during times of deep, consuming grief our hearts are often ruled by what is felt, rather than what we know to be true. In those moments, our attention can easily be shifted from seeking God’s face and resting in Him to a desperate attempt to make our pain go away. We often want to change our circumstances at any expense.
We just…want…the…pain…to…STOP!
We desperately want the loneliness to cease. We grasp at every attempt to bring back a sense of normalcy or the comfort and security of what is familiar. In doing so, we are swept further downstream in this raging river of reality rather than resting securely in the life raft of our Savior’s arms until the rushing flood emotions, hardships, and change slows down.
Can I get an Amen?!?!
But then the time comes when life begins to settle (sometimes only for a few moments). We have time to process, examine, and reflect.
We NEED these moments to anchor us when the next flood comes.
Trace the hand of God and recognize the evidence of His faithfulness! This reminds us He is indeed in control. The reality of His truth is greater and more powerful that the emotions that threaten to sweep us off course, pulling us under.
In those moments when we are resting safely in the life raft and the current isn’t so swift, let us set our faces straight into the face of Jesus. Allowing His promises to calm our anxious, hurting, fearful, confused, disappointed hearts, let Him quiet the storm. The winds and waves of life still obey Him as do the emotions that have our hearts and minds in such a tizzy!
I love Mark 4:35-41. In the midst of a mighty storm, the disciples are fretting and Jesus is sleeping peacefully. When the disciples wake Jesus, He simply gets up and says, “Hush, be still.” (Mark 4:39, NASB) and immediately “the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.”
He is the same Jesus today…
same power…
authority…
love and care for His followers…
ability to calm the storms.
He’s never in a tizzy!
God has taught me so much over the past nine years. While watching my husband battle brain cancer to navigating the turbulent waters of widowhood, the greatest lesson I have learned is this…when faced with circumstances that threaten my peace or joy and cause me to feel fear and anxiety, the solutions to my problems aren’t found in finding a way to change my circumstances.
The solutions are found in answering three simple questions:
- Is God sovereign? He most certainly is!!! (see Job 42:2; Psalm 135:6; Proverbs 16:4)
- Is God able? No Doubt!!! (see Matthew 19:26; Jeremiah 32:27)
- Does God love me? Beyond what I can imagine and comprehend!!! (see Jeremiah 31:3; John 3:16, Galatians 2:20; 1 John 4:10; 1 John 4:16)
The answer to these three questions puts any circumstance or trial in proper perspective and thus relieves all fears and anxiety.
If the answer to these three questions is an undeniable, non-debatable yes (AND IT IS!!!) then I have nothing to fear and I can courageously navigate any and all circumstances or trials that come my way…confident that even the worst of them will be worked together for my good and, most importantly, His glory.
Father, as we continue this journey of grief, help us cling to the truth that You have poured into our hearts. When the waters rise and emotions threaten to carry us downstream, help us hold fast to these three foundational truths. Rather than trying to “fix” or change our circumstances in order to find joy, happiness, peace, comfort, security, or whatever need is feeling threatened, may we rest in Your unfailing love, Your sovereign care, and Your unshakable power to do whatever it is we need. Jesus, what we need most is to hear You say, “Hush, be still.”