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Am I the only one, the only one who falls prey to lies?

I reveled in the joy of peace, and welcomed reprieve from the onslaught of heavy emotion.

Finally, Lord, perhaps I’m out of the valley. Perhaps the long winter is over.

Wonderful joy. Peace that passes understanding. Delight in my God. Out of nowhere the lies attacked as ravenous lions, quickly debilitating me under the weight of their fury.

It sure does seem like I write about lies often. I guess I’m a slow learner.

But it’s also true that since Jon died, they’ve been drastically more brutal. Satan has upped the ante in this war.

It seemed I battled about many lions.

These were the lies:

• I am not loved.
• This will never end.

God, we wanted only to live for You and proclaim the gospel. Why would You take that away?

• I am surely NOT measuring up to whatever grand plan You have in mind.
• If this is how You treat those who want to serve You, I don’t want it.
• Why would You give this person the thing that I want? Why does everyone else get their idols?
• When will people get to rejoice with me instead of only weep?

God, the desire for intimacy is so strong. If marriage is not in Your plans, just take the desires away! This is desperate, God. I don’t want to sin. And I don’t want to cause anyone else to sin!

Still there was more.

• My friends are tired of sharing pain with me.
• God doesn’t listen. He doesn’t care.
• I HATE constantly being the weak one!
• I am not loved.

Crushing weight mingled with shame and guilt.

I tried to tell myself truth, but nothing seemed to abate the sharp claws or satisfy the predator’s voracious appetite. Feeling devoured. I walked around in a haze of tears and irrationality.

I wanted to run, to protect everyone around me from me.

Finally, relief.

Friend upon friend arrived and beat off the lions, striking them with the truth that I could not. Faced with a weapon greater than themselves, the enemies retreated, running, tails between their legs.

“Attack them one at a time,” my wise friend said.

• You are vastly loved.
• You are valued.
• There is grace.
• The KING is here.
• He cherishes.
• He provides.
• He protects.
• He will not let you be destroyed!
• He calls you beloved daughter.
• You are normal.
• You don’t have to beat yourself up.

What? I was one of the lions? Yes.

The flood gates opened, and again I could meet with God.

“Sing aloud, O daughter of Zion; shout O Israel! Rejoice and exult with all your heart, O daughter of Jerusalem! The Lord has taken away the judgments against you; he has cleared away your enemies. The King of Israel, the LORD is in your midst; you shall never again fear evil…Fear not O Zion; let not your hands grow weak. The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you with his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.”
Zephaniah 3:14-17 ESV

What is true?

God is zealous for His people. The KING himself bursts forth in divine celebration over His chosen ones! His love is deeper than I understand. He rejoices over me because I am His own. Because God is present and in control, I don’t have to be afraid.

Sing aloud! Shout! Rejoice! Exult!

The true KING is here, who lay down his life so justice and mercy could dwell in harmony. The true KING. The One who loves. He can be trusted completely.

That I should have to face the full weight of HIS wrath, heightens my wonder at His astonishing mercy!

He will save. And His grace is infinitely bigger than the lies because His truth utterly defeats them.

Lord it’s a beautiful mystery that You delight in me. You are passionate about justice, but You are equally fierce in Your love. Because of Jesus’ death and resurrection, Satan is already defeated. Help me remember! Help me know that Your truth defeats every lie!