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Purpose

Many wonder if there is a purpose to life after losing a spouse. You can feel very broken by the loss of a spouse. Some describe it as a jagged amputation.

But you know that already. Now what? I have read that a sense of purpose is the key to a good life, but how do we get there?

For the first few months, your purpose is probably just to put one foot in front of the other. And that’s a great purpose. You are in survival mode. God created our bodies to need time to recover. It shouldn’t surprise us.

But what do I do when I have a stirring in my heart that there is more to live for after the survival mode has lightened? I want to do MORE than just survive. What do I do?

I read that there are five areas where we can find purpose in living: worship, fellowship, spiritual growth, ministry, and mission. With that in mind, here are a few ideas:

1. Worship: if you have stayed away from church worship, it may be time to recommit to going. I read this about worship -Worship can shift your mindset and change your perspective on the world… Worship heals wounds. (Lateva Woolfork) Worshiping God renews our purpose for living – to bring Him glory.
   
   

   Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name; worship the Lord in the splendor of holiness.
   Psalm 29:2 (ESV)

   
   
2. Fellowship: Find others who have similar interests as you or at least enjoy eating out! You might find you don’t hate bowling like you thought you might! Find other unmarried gals in a similar stage of life as you and look for ways to put something on the calendar to look forward to. A movie and dinner, a cookie bake, or even grocery shopping together. Having one person at church who will save you a seat makes a lot of difference in wanting to attend. And you might become that person for someone else.
   
   

   And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works.
   Hebrews 10:24 (ESV)

   
   
3. Spiritual Growth: I found that during my darkest valleys, I had to press into the goodness and character of God more than at any other time. And those dark times are going to come all throughout life. It doesn’t end with the loss of your husband – what did you learn during those valleys that will help you the next time you experience loss?
   
   

   Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
   Psalm 23:4 (ESV)

   
   
4. Ministry: Many widows find ways to grab the hand of a widow not as far along as them as a way to encourage them. My ministry at the beginning of widowhood though was not with widows but with young families while I worked in the baby nursery during the Sunday School hour. It was a place of healing and ministry for me for the first few years.
   
   

   Help carry each other’s burdens. In this way, you will follow Christ’s teachings.
   Galatians 6:2 (GW)

   
   
5. Mission: It has been stated that the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. That’s our goal whether married, widowed, teenager, or elderly, and everything in between. I believe that part of glorifying Him is being grateful for all He is and does in our lives. This song by Brandon Lake helps me focus on that mission.

You will discover that this new normal is okay. Healing is taking place as you reach out to others and take the time to grieve when you need to. You will find yourself transitioning into a new life even though you will never stop missing your husband. Ask God to point you in the right direction and then hang on. It might be a wild ride of new experiences and rediscovered interests. Let this verse be your prayer as you seek God and watch for ways He will direct you.

He has told you, O man, what is good;
and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God?
Micah 6:8 (ESV)