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Good sense makes one slow to anger,
and it is his glory to overlook an offense.
Proverbs 19:11 (ESV)

Oh, the comments we widows endure.

From the innocent platitude of “God needed him in Heaven” to the “Isn’t it about time to move forward?” Or “Don’t worry, you’ll find another husband.”

It isn’t just the direct references to our widowhood that we get offended by. Sometimes it’s everyday offenses that come into our lives.

Like the friend who doesn’t have time for you in her busy schedule. Or the neighbor who isn’t satisfied with the way you cut your grass or even the extended family member who looks condescendingly upon your faith or values.

All of these incoming offenses tempt us to react.

Luke 17:1 (ESV) tells us,

“Temptations to sin are sure to come.

The King James Version of the Bible uses the word “offenses” rather than temptations because offenses can be temptations to sin. Offenses are like arrows coming in, one after another. As widows who are already experiencing adversity, even the tiniest of these can feel like a whole quiver full of arrows headed right for us.

That’s how Paul describes offenses, and he also tells us how to be ready,

In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one;
Ephesians 6:16 (ESV)

So if the temptation to sin comes at us every day as offenses, we use the shield of faith to block them. Think of yourself holding your shield of faith specially designed by the God Who created you–the One in Whom you place your faith, Abba. Imagine He strengthens your shield so that no fiery arrow of offense can penetrate and set you spinning. Shouldn’t that make you so much more fulfilled and joyful?

Paul lived in a time when Roman soldiers depended on shields made from wooden boards fastened together. Fiery arrows could easily cause the wood to catch fire. So before battle, they lined their shields with water-soaked leather so fiery arrows could be extinguished and simply drop to the ground.

Imagine your faith as that shield.

Line it, Sister, with the knowledge that you serve a God who already completes you and cares about you, especially in your widow journey.

Prepare for the shower of flaming arrows. They don’t just rain on you. Arrows of many types shower on everyone. But your shield will not only block but extinguish.

Over the past year, I took a great deal of time out of my schedule to help a friend in need. Her situation was dire and it felt good to pull her through it. We developed a friendship in the process. But as soon as the crisis was over, my friend found herself floundering with the process of putting her life back together- something she needed to do on her own. Her frustrations over getting back on her feet had her forgetting herself and some unkind words slipped out.

What came next was bewildering to me. I was neither wounded nor enraged to react. Her words, like the incoming fiery arrow, hit the water-soaked leather covering of faith and dropped to the ground where we were both able to just observe it.

I started to giggle. “You know what this means,” I said. “It means you are gaining your voice. It’s about time!” With that, she sighed, relieved I wasn’t offended.

Sometimes, the offense isn’t meant to be offensive at all.

If we look in context and understand the love people have for us, we can forgive them for an unthinking comment and just be love to them just as Proverbs 19:11 (ESV) tells us,

Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.

When I consider overlooking an offense, I don’t mean sweeping it under the rug and ignoring that perhaps there’s a kernel of truth in the rude remark. If we learn through the offense, that’s good too. But you can learn without letting that arrow sink in and burn up your shield.

Lord,

Strengthen the shields of these ladies. Arm them for this journey. Help them see how much more joyful life is when we let offenses fall to the side under the safety of Your care.
Amen.